Its like this...

It's been six weeks since i posted, I am honestly truly too busy to even care about my computer at this time. I got a call from Monica, and promised her, at work i would journal. My life is VERY busy..... my days are usually 18 to 20 hour days. I am stressed, and just now, trying to come down... to a more serene life. alot is happening........ but actually everything is going very well. I am taking care of my in'laws right now. Mom was in Pittsburgh Hospital with some major heart/lung problems. her choice was nursing home......or back with me :) She's been home a week now, and is doing pretty well. There have been so many life changing experiences going on.... all for the good. Bill's dad, has been so thankful and cooperative with Us. they do not have contact with the drug addicted son, unless it is thru me. which may occur once or twice a month. He is in a drug rehab. then he goes to a half way house, and possible Jail time after that. I hope he finds his way, if not TOO bad. he will not take advantage and abuse these two old people again. as long as I have breath in my lungs. It's kinda funny. You see i am a fair person, really I am, the first week shawn was in drug rehab, he called my cell phone (only number he has) and wanted to see "Dad" on the short visitation they allow once a week. I told Shawn , that would be doable BUT i must be there during the visit the whole time. He said that would be fine, so the day finally comes, I drive Dad the 50 miles to the rehab center. we go to sign in..........guess what, I was not on the list, guess what................ we turned around and walked out. . . . Shawn the manipulator has met his match. I do not play games, I believe in toughness for these people. He called back the next day to tell me I was now on the list, I told him i would get down there if i had the time..... no time though.
Mom and Dad are signed up for elderly housing based on their income. we are waiting for a place in town. the wait is 6months to 18 months. I decided God will let me know when they are to move on from my place, I Trust Him, and put it in His hands. It's funny Centries ago, and still today in the Amish and similar groups. Nursing homes are unheard of. families always took care of their own. the Amish actually add on a section of their home for this reason.

So this is my life right now, for a while, the entire month of May and Part of June, i was working outside of the home sometimes 70 hrs in a week. and still trying to run my household of 8, and for a while my household of 9 ( my girlfriend was very ill and in the hospital for a month. and i had her son.)

So in this mass confusion, where does this leave me? not doing well, not eating right, not exercising, never putting me first until ....well, until last week. Ive been hiking regularly. and my muscles are killing me. I am eating better, but sometimes i forget to eat at all. not good. No excuses............... I am going to die, if i don't take care of myself, and if that means being selfish for awhile, well then so be it.......... it's all about me right?

Corey my foster son, is doing wonderful, he is my boy all the way. Andrew is growing up and is a health nut. Katie drives...... me crazy ,as well as a car now. she is mouthy at times but helpful. and my Sammy still wants his mommy around. It's starting to affect Bill a little, men can be such babies sometimes, and require more attention than the kids... so i gotta work on that, and keep our marriage strong. He's a good man, and i sure do love him. always trying to help me out in any way. I've gotta cut back on my hours, from all jobs. i am giving up one of the three jobs I had. and mornings i schedule for me and exercise.