where in the he** have i been

well i am here, you know i do journal, but it's the old fashion way........beside my bed, with one of those antique thingies, you know, the Pen. I should keep this updated too, and i guess i will try. Alot has been going on these past two months, On December 8th i had foot surgery, and it was pretty major.. alot of cutting and manipulating the tendons and the nerves. I spent 14 days absolutely not using my foot. and then i spent 28 days with minimal weightbearing..... And then i ended up getting an absess near the operation site, ........long story short, and 6 weeks later..... infection is cleared, and there is improvement with the nerve damage i was having before surgery. Bad thing is they had to put me on high doses of steroids...... yuck i hate those!!! Steroids suppress the immune system.. so almost a month ago, i ended up getting a major upper respiratory infection, sore throat, that settled into my lungs..... those damn steroids. so i spent 3 weeks following in Patti's footsteps with a cough and sore throat that kept me awake for many nights.... cough medicine, and antibiotics, and throat losanges, and yes Vineger and salt water gargles (Thanks Patti) I am finally able to sleep, but on monday i took my daughter to the doctors for a check up, and the doctor put me on the table, didn't like how i was coughing and breathing.........go figure i have acute bronchial asthma, (lung inflamation) on a very strong antibiotic now, proventil inhalor, and guess what...... get this, i have to take another round of steroids to decrease the lung inflamation.... tell me if this is a vicious circle...... I hate modern medical treatment......... I am drinking fluids, eating lean protein, fruits and veggies, i now take some extra C and Zinc. BUT i do see the light at the end of the tunnel,

The GREAT news is , well i've been dealing with this foot injury for 9 months, and it has been pretty serious, haven't been able to use this foot for a good 6 months.. I have the body type that NEEDs exercise to stay healthy...... and my exercise of choice is hiking in the great out doors. Gosh i miss that..... WEll i can't do that yet..... but as of Feb 1st i am cleared to go to Curves and begin training to start taking these many extra pound off.... My appetite has been non excistent since mid december, i am truly eating to live right now, and my portions have decreased so much....... so as i put the other peices of the puzzle together, things should become clearer. It's funny though, I don't feel depressed on anxious to get the weigh back to were i was a year ago. I am who i am, and i am happy with me..... I do feel as the weight comes off, my foot will have less stress on it, and my immune system will naturally increase. IT's a life, not a diet it's all about smart choices not eating cardboard rice cakes, or diet oreo cookies. it's about planning and living, playing and living, eating and living.

I am so excited and looking forward to seeing Patti, and Kim and Monica....... i am totally relaxed and at peace, it's about the spirit and friendship,....... laughter and shared memories.. not about who is thinner, or heavier, or wealthier, or any of that superfical stuff. I think for true health and fitness of the body...... the soul has got to get straightened first. and the spirit has to be released. I used to say........... i want to loose weight so that I could soar with the eagles........ that's a crock of crap...........you know why....... my spirit is weightless........ therefore i AM SOARING WITH THE EAGLES....... now my body can follow

Well i gotta get going, lots of meds and treatments and house work to take care of. Remind me to tell you about the most amazing story i read about a woman's journey with cancer...... her family lives near me.. but i did not know this woman. her story was life changing for me.... And was a big part of my attitude change over a month ago..... you can read her story on the web. she is an amazing amazing woman...... and i am ashamed of the excuses i've made in life, and i am ashamed that i wasted time........"sweating all the small stuff"

i'll talk about "Melody's Journey" tomorrow.

God Bless My friends